


A Life Without You

by atsushiiis



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, Blood, Blood and Gore, Durarara spoilers, Fluff, Gangs, Gore, Heavy Angst, High School, Hurt, I'm not over Ketsu, Kidnapping, M/M, Major Character Injury, Murder, Pining, Sakura (Cherry Blossoms), This is my take on how it ended, Tragedy, Yakuza, this is really sad i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-05-30 09:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6419182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atsushiiis/pseuds/atsushiiis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a year since Izaya disappeared from Ikebukuro, or rather a year since he had been dismissed as dead for reasons unknown.</p><p>But now the infamous informant returns to Ikebukuro for only one reason... to let the city fall into chaos once again of course. </p><p>With threats of gangs rising from the depths once again, the return of Saika's children lusting for revenge for failing their mother, and threats of danger from the Awakusu Kai for the kidnapping of Awakusu Akane...</p><p>What will lie in the path of the residents of Ikebukuro as they watch their city crumble piece by piece?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Regretting The Past

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HatsuneMiku444](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HatsuneMiku444/gifts).



Darkness.

That's all that I could see.

Until I saw him before me.

He was clutching his side and wearing that smirk that made my blood boil with rage.

I watched his fur coat disappear behind a corner and I immediately ran after him. I watched as he ran right into the crowd of people and I stalked towards him, dragging a vending machine behind me.

As I stood in front of him he looked up to see me, brown eyes narrowing at me in a glare. I watched as he coughed up blood, the force of his body coughing leading to his hood slipping off of his head revealing raven hair.

He immediately chuckled, a low sound. Before looking up at me, humor in his eyes despite the blood spilling from his mouth and cuts, "Do it, monster" he said with a smirk.

And then everything went black and a gunshot resounded throughout the city.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up with a gasp, taking deep breaths and looking around at the space that I was in.

Ah, another nightmare.

It has been a year ever since that night, otherwise known as the night that Orihara Izaya disappeared from Ikebukuro and I am still plagued by nightmares despite how long it has been since then.

I sat up in my bed and ran a hand through my hair. 

It was always the same, the nightmare would open with darkness and then Izaya would appear right in front of me. Wearing his trademark smirk on his face before turning around and running away.

I would always chase after him in the dream and I would always be carrying a vending machine behind me, standing in front of him with a glare. He would always cough up blood and hold his side.

And then he would simply chuckle and look up at me with his tired eyes before smirking and saying the words that still haunt me to this day.

"Do it, monster."

The dream would always end with complete darkness and the sound of a gunshot.

"Fuck" I groaned as I rolled onto my side, lying down once again.

I had thought that I would be happy and at peace now that the flea is gone but the peace of the city is unwelcoming.  
Ikebukuro was often known as a loud, boisterous city during the day due to the sounds of the flea's name being yelled through the air and the sound of vending machines crashing as they made impact with the ground, completely missing their target.

Now the city was uncomfortably quiet, there wasn't any taunting remarks or names being yelled. All I was met with was an eerie silence.

Without the flea the city was quiet, there was no fur coats darting around corners or his insufferable stench or even the annoying nickname I was given by the flea.

All of the excitement in my life was gone.

Oftentimes I would blame myself for Izaya's disappearance if only I wasn't there that night maybe things would have gone differently, maybe Izaya would still be here if not for me. I knew that one day things would go too far but I never expected that day to come so soon.

But now Ikebukuro was silent, Orihara Izaya would never set foot in that city ever again and now all I was left with was the memories of what everything used to be like.

If only I wasn't there that night.


	2. It's Been A While, Hasn't It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orihara Izaya, dead? Oh please.  
> That was simply a rumor spread around.  
> So then what really happened to him?

It's been a year... hasn't it?

Ha, I bet they miss me. Perhaps they're grieving? Or perhaps they're glad that I'm gone from their lives? 

It doesn't matter if they don't think about me at all.

After all, they're all that I think about.

Day after day I find myself fascinated with their lives, most people would find me odd or call me insane but I can assure them that I am perfectly sane. Just a little bit too in love with all of humanity. I find humans rather interesting. Their daily lives, the friends they've made, what their hobbies are, what their likes and dislikes are. Each and every last bit of detail about them fascinates me. An informant is a rather fitting job for someone with these views, no?  
I love all of humanity. All except one single person

He doesn't deserve to be called human, after all he's too monstrous to even be considered a human being.  
Back then I had heard rumors about his inhuman strength and at the time I had thought that they were just simple rumors, after all rumors aren't all true.  
But when I saw him back then in the flesh, I just knew that the person standing in the middle of that field was not a human.  
Perhaps he was a monster in human skin.  
No, a more fitting term for him would be a beast.

Even though I claim to think about humanity every second of my life he always enters my thoughts at the most random times.  
I often think of what his reaction was on that day.  
Was he sad? Was he beyond furious or was he filled with glee that his nemesis had been confirmed dead.  
I wasn't really dead, it was all fake.  
A simple game I had set up.

Most people are convinced that I am dead when in reality I am very much alive.

What they don't know is that it was all part of a plan. On that night, things had started turning to the worst. I thought that I could easily kill him but it seemed like that wasn't the case. And so on that night I initiated plan B.  
If things turned to the worst I would simply fake my own death and leave Ikebukuro for good.

And that is exactly what I did.

It has been a year since I faked my own death and even though I had healed completely a long time ago, I do not wish to ever come back to Ikebukuro.  
If my parents were still in contact with me I'm sure they would say something like "Orihara Izaya how dare you leave your sisters by themselves!"  
But I am positive that Mairu and Kururi are doing just fine without me.

I have many reasons as to why it would not be a good idea to come back to Ikebukuro.  
Reason #1: Many of my precious humans want me dead and I believe they are still vengeful that they didn't have the chance to kill me when they had the chance and personally I would not like to give them that chance.  
Reason #2 : I would rather not risk an encounter with Shizu-chan (considering he still believes that I am dead)

I laughed to myself at that last reason, Shizu-chan's face would be priceless if he saw me, Orihara Izaya, in the flesh!  
But if he were to see me that would surely be disastrous considering I no longer have the ability to run or jump.  
Clearly all of this was Shizu-chan's fault.

But despite all of this. Why in the world was I holding a ticket to Ikebukuro, Japan in my hand?

The answer was simple, I had unfinished business I had to resume. After all, a year off is far too long of a break for Ikebukuro's infamous informant.

I looked up at the sign in front of me which read 'Ikebukuro, Japan. Now boarding' and I smiled slyly.

Oh how my precious humans must have missed me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I have been told that this story could have potential and so I decided to give this writing thing a try.  
> Although I'm not quite sure as to what I should add to this plot.  
> Why is Izaya coming back to Ikebukuro despite he himself saying he doesn't wish to?  
> The answer is simple.  
> I don't know why either.  
> Once again please give me advice on where I should go from here.  
> I'm sorry if these chapters aren't very long. I don't have that much experience with writing long chapters and to be honest I'm just really tired at the moment


	3. Guess Who's Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya returns to Ikebukuro but what will befall the city now that the raven haired informant is back in business?

It felt good to be back after such a long time 

Surely some people had missed me in my time away from the bustling city. Though as I looked around the city after I arrived it unnerved me to find the city so blissful and quiet.

Normally the city streets would be loud with the life of the people who lived there but perhaps the loudness was only caused by the daily chases between Shizu-chan and myself through Ikebukuro.

But now the city was quiet. Far too quiet. It wasn't filled with the life it was so famous for or the sound of Shizu-chan throwing any objects he could find at me. Bringing back those memories always brought a smile to my face. Oh how wonderful it was to run around Ikebukuro with the infamous monster at my heels. I would forever remember the way it made me feel, the exhilarating feeling of dashing through alleyways and streets and the way we jumped from rooftop to rooftop.

I almost found myself missing that feeling. But those times were long gone now. There would be no more daily chases.

Well, unless I planned to speed walk away from the monster.

I laughed to myself at the thought.

Shizu-chan would catch me for sure at that pace.

I walked through the streets with my hands in my coat pockets. I had decided to change my coat for the time being since many people would surely recognize me from the fur jacket I always seemed to wear. My coat now lacked the fur it was so famous for and the coat was now replaced with a black coat with a hood that easily covered my face if I was in a situation where showing my face would surely be disastrous 

Perhaps a mask would've been better off.

Call it a terrible disguise for an informant if you will.

All that I could do now for the time being was walk down dark, frigid cold alleyways and flee whenever I spotted that unmistakable mess of bleached blond hair. Not that I wouldn't know where Shizu-chan was it's not that hard to find him considering he is the only person in this city who is always seen wearing a bartender outfit. He was completely ridiculous. 

As I reached the end of one of the alleyways I looked up and gazed at the sky. It was painted in a mixture of pinks, yellows and reds indicating that the sun was setting.

A dark smile made it's way across my features. 

By tomorrow every person will have a feeling that there is something they are not quite realizing.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
I was walking with Tom down the streets of Ikebukuro, my work day had ended hours ago but Tom insisted that he take me out for dinner. Tom did this often to get my mind off of things. An example would be that goddamn flea.

I had a feeling that something was going to happen in this city and as usual I assumed that it was going to be all part of Izaya's plan but that wasn't right.  
I knew for a fact that he was dead.

Maybe he came back to life?

I shook my head, whisking away the absurd thought. I must have been watching too many of Kasuka's films lately.  
He seemed to be in a lot of zombie movies so maybe that was the reason.

"Shizuo!" Tom shouted to get my attention.

I looked towards him in confusion. Ah I must have spaced out for a while that I didn't hear him calling my name.

"Are you okay? You spaced out there for a second." Tom asked, concern lacing his tone.

"I'm fine. Sorry for spacing out, what were you saying?"

"it's completely fine! I was just saying that you should go home, it's getting pretty late after all" 

I looked up at the sky, the sun seemed to be dipping past the horizon "Oh okay bye Tom" I turned around and started heading in the direction of my house.

I was almost at my house when I smelt it, I could recognize that insufferable stench from anywhere but surely it wasn't him.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be completely honest I haven't considered creating an update schedule so I will post the next chapter when I have an idea of what I'd like to write.  
> As always comments are much appreciated, I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing so that would be helpful too.  
> And as always stay updated for the next chapter .-.


	4. Cat and Mouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orihara Izaya was dead, so why did Shizuo still feel the flea's annoying presence in this city?  
> The answer is simple.  
> Because he isn't dead.

Shizuo felt like something was wrong. It wasn't the feeling of fear that would make most people worry for their lives. It was the knowledge that something in this city was going to happen which was going to create even more chaos which would lead to many more gang wars to come.

However this feeling seemed to be telling him that something was definitely wrong.

He knew that this feeling wasn't the cause of any gangs starting trouble or anything like that. Most of the gangs that were still active kept it on the down-low and they didn't cause any trouble in the city that would disrupt it's peace.

The Dollars and the Yellow Scarves had been disbanded so they weren't a possibility. Nearly a year ago it was disbanded but there were rumors that people who still held on to the remnants of the gang were trying to start it up again.

But Shizuo knew that even if they did, they still wouldn't be as feared as it was in the past.

He didn't have a single clue as to what he was missing. From what he knew there hadn't been any recent disasters so what was he missing?

That's when he realized it. He was mere steps away from the comforting confines of his own home when it hit him.

That terrible stench that could only belong to one person. The one person that he had believed to be dead was back.

He refused to believe that it really was him. But if it was Mairu and Kururi instead they would have ran up to him by now and demanded that he tell them about Kasuka.

Ignoring his instincts to ignore the smell, he walked over to the alleyway where he noticed the stench was coming from. But when he looked around there was no sign of the flea in the dark alleyway. 

To his surprise he found himself feeling disappointed that it wasn't who he was looking for. Even if he was here before he was clearly somewhere else now and he didn't leave any signs as to where he headed off to.

The longer that Shizuo stood in that alleyway the more intoxicating the scent smelt. The smell was unpleasant but it reminded him of fur coats, teasing smiles and resounding laughs as the person it all belonged to wrecked havoc in the city.

He was about to walk out of the alleyway when something caught his eye. It was a red piece of paper and it was folded and left near one of the many garbage cans.

Shizuo wasn't quite sure how he had missed the red piece of paper when he was positive that it wasn't there before.

He picked up the piece of paper anyway and unfolded it to read the writing that was inside.

The writing read:  
It seems like you found this letter.  
Knowing that it's probably you who picked this up I have one declaration to make.  
Come find me if you can, Shizu-chan.

At the bottom neatly signed was the flea's name written in cursive with an infuriating smiley face drawn next to it.

After reading the letter twice he crushed the carmine red paper with his hand.

So he really was alive huh? That bastard disappeared for a year and only came back to turn this city into a city filled with chaos once again. Shizuo couldn't believe that Izaya even had the audacity to draw a simple, carefree smiley face next to his name.

Thinking of the flea made his blood boil with pure rage.

"Izaya!" He let out a scream towards the sky as he began his search for the flea.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
He sat on the edge of a building, not far away from his nemesis's house but not somewhere that the beast would look for the time being.

He heard his name being yelled throughout the air, startling some of the passerby's on the street below him.

He merely chuckled "Let the game of cat and mouse begin once again"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my now things are starting to get interesting.  
> By 'the game of cat and mouse' I didn't mean that Izaya would be running away from Shizuo like he used to.  
> I meant that it's more Izaya hiding from Shizuo. Not wanting to be found but making it clear to Shizuo that their rivalry isn't over.  
> Anyway comments are greatly appreciated.  
> I tried to make this chapter a bit longer considering my other chapters are a tad bit too short.


	5. Where Could He Be?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After reading the letter Izaya left behind, Shizuo starts to search through Ikebukuro. Looking in places where Izaya might be hiding.  
> He's checked everywhere for the flea, so where is he?

Shizuo had begun to walk through the deserted streets of Ikebukuro. Many people were already home, having dinner with their families and very few lined the streets.

The absence of life could also be because of the fact that it was now raining and people had chosen to take shelter from the pouring rain. Unfortunately this was not the case for Shizuo. He had forgotten to check the weather forecast for the day and had forgotten his umbrella.

But despite all of this and the fact that rain was now soaking his shirt and making his hair stick to his face in wet strands, Shizuo still chose to search for Izaya. Izaya had stated in that letter that he was waiting for Shizuo to find him.

Shizuo had found the raven haired informant entering his thoughts more often and it infuriated him. The way that he would be doing something as simple as walking down the street and then boom. He would find himself thinking about the flea.

Shizuo had thought many times of the flea, more so in despair and regret than in simple daydreams. But now that he knew that Izaya was indeed in fact alive he found that he was constantly thinking about him.

He wouldn't call it a stupid school-girl crush, it was more like 'I hate you and I wish you were dead but goddammit you're really attractive'.

He wasn't going to admit that out loud of course. If the flea had heard him say it he would've been on the ground, laughing so much that tears would come to his eyes.

Thinking about his nemesis this way was absurd and completely weird. Izaya was his enemy after all and to find your enemy attractive was odd in itself. The truth was Shizuo had thought that boys were more appealing to him then girls but he wasn't going to voice that out loud when he would surely be teased for it. Back in high school, boys were expected to like girls but that was nearly impossible for Shizuo considering his desk was a few seats away from Izaya's desk.

Sometimes he would find himself staring at the raven. Izaya was far too pretty for a male. The way his hair looked, the way his eyes gleamed whenever they had their fights in the courtyard and throughout the school and all Shizuo could do was think how pretty Orihara Izaya really was.

It had been many years since his high school days where he would pine endlessly after the flea, not taking any action to do anything about it. Just acting like he wasn't pining for his nemesis as if that wasn't strange at all.

When Shizuo had heard that Izaya's death was confirmed, his heart completely shattered and he was left to pick up the pieces. Shizuo didn't know what to do with himself anymore. A part of him felt empty knowing that the light in his life was gone.

Izaya was far from light appearance wise. Despite the flea's black and grey clothes, he was always cheerful and he had a certain air to him that would make anyone become suspicious. 

Shizuo at this time had found himself wondering if the flea had bothered to check the weather forecast as well. Shizuo hadn't seen Izaya in a year and he didn't know what to look for.

Was he supposed to look for fake fur coats or was he supposed to look for raven hair and his terrible stench?

Shizuo had no idea.

He had found himself searching throughout Ikebukuro endlessly as night approached rather quickly. He hadn't bothered to check how much time had gone by, but by the time he looked up at the sky he found himself staring at a dark mass of black covering the city. 

Street lights were already lit up and he should've been home hours ago.

But with every place he searched he couldn't find the flea anywhere. Though some places had held that recognizable stench his hopes had sank when he couldn't find him.

It was like they were playing some childish game of cat and mouse where Shizuo was the cat trying to figure out where Izaya was and Izaya was the mouse constantly running and hiding in places that the cat wouldn't search in. 

He was completely stumped after he checked the last place Izaya could've been at. 

If Izaya was playing a game and having fun with all of this then Shizuo was sure that Izaya was winning.

The rain had stopped pouring down hours ago but the ground was still wet and the leaves on the trees were still dropping droplets of water onto the ground.

It was just Shizuo's luck that he found that he had run out of cigarettes when he reached into his pocket only to find nothing where the box of cigarettes was supposed to be.

Shizuo grumbled in annoyance at the lack of cigarettes and kicked at the ground with his shoe.

Where would he go from here?

A few minutes passed by and it was at that exact moment when Shizuo told himself that searching even more was pointless and that it would be better if he had just went home to sleep when he thought of somewhere where he could go.

Completely despising the idea when he had first thought of paying him a visit out of all people.

But Shizuo instead had found himself walking in the direction of his friend's house.

Maybe Shinra would know where Izaya might be hiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might not be the best chapter but I tried  
> Next chapter will be up whenever I'm not busy with school.


	6. The Hypothesis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo deems it a good idea to ask Shinra for help in his search for Izaya but the problem is Shinra has no clue where Izaya is.
> 
> That is... until he thinks of a place Izaya might be hiding at.

It was a rather peaceful night, it had been raining earlier but now all that could be seen was the faint remnants of the raindrops on the windows.

Shinra and Celty had been on their respective laptops working on completely different things. The dullahan didn't seem to mind the silence that was heard throughout their apartment and it was a relief that Shinra wasn't chattering nonstop about his love for Celty.

Though Celty did love Shinra, he could also be quite the annoyance which was probably one of the reasons why she loved him so much.

Their peaceful silence was soon interrupted by a loud knock on the door that resounded throughout the entire apartment. The sudden knock had startled Celty and she immediately fumbled for her phone, quickly typing out a message to show Shinra.

"Who could that be?" the message read.

Shinra shrugged "Who knows. Though it is strange to hear a knock on the door at-" Shinra paused and looked at the time "11:30 at night."

A louder knock suddenly came not even a minute later. Shinra quickly closed his laptop and stood up, making his way to the front door.

The knocks seemed to be getting very persistent and Shinra called out a "Coming, coming!" Shinra quickened his pace towards the front door.

Shinra opened the door, Celty behind him to greet the person knocking at their door at such an hour. Shinra opened the door to see a familiar mess of blond hair, or rather the so called 'monster of Ikebukuro'. Shinra knew that this wasn't true at all, even though Shizuo could destroy things easily, the fact that he had anger problems didn't mean that he was a monster. Perhaps it wasn't Shizuo who was the monster of Ikebukuro but Izaya instead.

Shinra was sure Izaya would have been amused to hear himself being called a monster. The sick bastard would probably revel in the nickname.

"Ah Shizuo what a surprise! Are you here to finally let me test some of your blood?"

Shizuo ignored the question from Shinra and greeted Celty instead with a "Hello"

"How mean!" Shinra whined "Saying hello to my beloved Celty and not me!"

"Can you just shut up" 

"Anyway what do you need at this hour? It is quite late after all"

"I need to ask you something"

"Okay?" 

Shizuo looked around, showing an uncharacteristic bout of nervousness before looking back at Shinra "I was wondering if you knew where the flea is"

Shinra raised an eyebrow "Orihara-kun? Hmm well I haven't seen him around for a year so I'm not sure where he might be." If Shinra was being honest, he didn't really care where Izaya was. Izaya had ruined many people's lives, at one point he did almost ruin both Celty and Shinra's lives. 

So maybe it was a good thing that Izaya wasn't around.

At least the residents of Ikebukuro could live in peace... for now.

"Oh I see"

"Why are you looking for Orihara-kun, might I ask? He hasn't been in Ikebukuro for a year" Shinra wondered why Shizuo was so interested in finding Izaya all of a sudden. Surely Shizuo wasn't asking for Izaya's location just so he could go kill him once and for all.

That was silly. Izaya was dead after all. 

Well unless Izaya's ghost had been tormenting Shizuo. Shinra sighed, even in death Izaya seemed to be an annoying ghost.

"I'm looking for the flea because of this" Shizuo dug into the pocket of his pants and revealed a crumpled piece of red paper. He held it out to Shinra and Shinra took it and unfolded the incredibly crumpled piece of paper.

Celty leaned over his shoulder to read what was written on the piece of paper.

Shinra's eyes quickly skimmed what seemed to be a letter and when he finished reading he looked at Shizuo "So Orihara-kun is back huh?"

The letter seemed to have implied that Shizuo was supposed to search for Izaya in one of Izaya's twisted games. Knowing Izaya, it wasn't a surprise that he had chosen to make Shizuo search Ikebukuro endlessly for him rather than simply revealing himself.

Shinra stood there, wracking his brain for places Izaya would have chosen to hide in.

Behind Russia Sushi? No, Simon would surely know if Izaya was hiding behind his restaurant. He definitely wouldn't be hiding in his apartment in Shinjuku, that would be too easy and why would he choose to hide in his own house? 

That's when an idea came to Shinra, "Did you try searching for him at Raira?" Of course Izaya would do something like this. Reuniting with an old nemesis where they first met. Raira seemed like a place where Izaya would hide but why would he choose to hide there of all places? What was the purpose of this? Were they reuniting as something else? Or were they saying goodbye forever this time?

Shinra had no clue but he desperately wished it wasn't the latter.

\----------------------------------------------

Izaya hummed as he sat on the roof of the building. The students had been let out for summer vacation so no one was here to rat him out to the principal of the school. He knew he didn't belong here anymore and that was why he chose to be here of all places. He had graduated from here years ago and he was no longer welcome on the school grounds.

Shizu-chan surely was stupid for not realizing where he was yet.

Izaya wondered what would happen once they finally reunited. His hypothesis was that Shizu-chan would kill him for sure this time. Though not all hypothesis's were correct and that is what excited Izaya.

Let's see where this experiment goes from here, Shizu-chan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be purely fluff and will have Shizuo being an adorable dork.  
> Oh how fun this will be to write.  
> I have an idea of where I want this to go with this so prepare yourselves because I honestly don't know what I'm doing
> 
> The next chapter will most likely be up on Saturday. 
> 
> It gives me time to think about this.
> 
> Anyway I've been thinking and I've been wondering if you guys would be interested if I created a fanfic based on Bungou Stray Dogs.  
> Please tell me if you think I should go through with this idea.


	7. If We Had Been Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their high school days were full of taunting and fights in school hallways.  
> Though as time went on things changed  
> How will Shizuo react to his newfound feelings for the flea?
> 
> The question that's troubling him is: Does the flea feel the same?

He remembers the day that they had met.

The skies were clear and it could've been considered a wonderful and calming day for Heiwajima Shizuo but this was not the case. Shizuo was now standing in the courtyard of Raira Academy, trying to catch his breath and calm his seething anger at the same time.

Bodies were littered everywhere on the pavement. Some of them were still conscious and groaning in pain but some of them were unconscious for they had hit their heads too hard when they had been thrown to the ground.

Shizuo absolutely hated when this happened. 

There was always people who thought they were almighty and could stand a chance in a fight against him. They were always wrong, nobody could compare to the monstrous strength that resided within him.

He had always thought it was a curse. Some kind of sick and twisted blessing bestowed upon him at birth. He never liked to use his strength but due to his terrible temper he would always end up succumbing to it.

Today was one of these days.

All that could be heard at the moment was the sound of Shizuo trying to catch his breath.

But that's when he heard it. 

A slow clap was heard throughout the courtyard and Shizuo looked to his left in pure annoyance. That's when he saw him, he was incredibly beautiful. He had raven hair and brown eyes that looked almost red, his mouth was contorted into a smirk that made Shizuo's blood boil at the sight of it. 

At the moment he was also feeling some sort of feeling that he had never felt before. It pissed him off that he couldn't identify this feeling.

"Who the hell are you?" He had asked, lacking any politeness whatsoever. The person in front of him didn't deserve his politeness at all.

"Pleased to meet you, I'm Orihara Izaya." the person in front of him announced, answering his question. Orihara Izaya was far from ordinary, he wasn't wearing the school uniform which Shizuo had no idea of how he got away with that.

Perhaps he bribed the principal into letting him wear it.

He had an air about him that screamed that getting to know him wasn't a good idea, his air was simply mysterious.

Shizuo found at that moment that he did not like Orihara Izaya at all.

"I don't like you" He bluntly stated. 

"Oh? Is that so?" Izaya retorted. "That's fine by me, I wouldn't want to be friends with a monster anyway."

That was when Shizuo lost it. He immediately lunged for Izaya in a punch but the raven easily dodged it and moved to the side. While Shizuo was unprepared, Izaya flicked out his pocket knife and slashed Shizuo across the chest creating a rip in Shizuo's shirt. 

That was when Shizuo tried to throw a punch at Izaya again but Izaya instead ran away and Shizuo chased after him.

Their chase was abruptly stopped when Izaya darted across a busy road and Shizuo blindly ran after him, which caused him to end up getting hit by a truck.

The truck driver immediately got out of the truck to check to see if he was okay but Shizuo easily stood up. When he looked in the direction that Izaya had ran off to he found that he was nowhere to be seen.

\--------------------------------------------------------

After their first meeting they started to fight more often. If Shizuo saw Izaya in the hallways he would immediately chase after him, if Izaya saw Shizuo he would start to taunt him until he got a reaction. To Izaya it seemed like it was fun to see Shizuo's reactions to things he would say or do.

Izaya's taunting would always end in Shizuo throwing things at Izaya and chasing him.

Because of this they were rarely in class which started to make their grades slip.

So they were forced to endure each other during class and not make a scene. This was incredibly hard for Shizuo because everything the flea did was annoying. Shizuo had found out what the feeling was when he had first met Izaya and when he had asked Shinra about it he was given an incredibly detailed explanation of it. Shinra would use his relationship with Celty as an example but the explanation only made Shizuo even more pissed off.

He certainly did not have any feelings for the flea.

Fuck that 'fate' bullshit that Shinra had been spouting. It wasn't fate that they had met and tried to kill each other. They did not love each other they merely loathed each other. They didn't find any excitement in things like love. 

Shizuo had kept his feelings a secret even though he constantly claimed that these were not feelings of love but merely feelings of hatred. 

And even if he thought that these feelings were the cause of love he knew that it would surely be one sided. Izaya had claimed that he loved all of humanity though Izaya's version of love was quite different than the normal definition.

His definition was that his love for humanity was merely the love to see how disgusting human beings really were. He liked to toy with their emotions and see how they reacted to certain things. It was like he saw humanity simply as test subjects and that made Shizuo disgusted.

No matter how much he tried to convince himself he would oftentimes find himself staring at Izaya during class. He liked when Izaya would be writing something and then tuck a stray piece of hair behind his ear. This only proved that Orihara Izaya really was beautiful despite his manipulative personality. 

Though when Shizuo looked away to work on his own work, he never noticed that Izaya would stare at him when he wasn't looking. 

\------------------------------------------------------------

It was spring when it happened. Their second year of high school had recently started and Shizuo and Izaya were waiting for Shinra and Kadota to arrive. They had decided to sit under a cherry blossom tree for the time being and it was a miracle in itself that Shizuo and Izaya weren't fighting for once.

They only tolerated each other for the moment because they were waiting for their friends and it would be no good to chase each other around and leave Shinra and Kadota wondering where they ran off to.

Cherry blossoms glided through the air and fell on the ground near them. They silently agreed not to talk and just let the other be at peace in the calming spring weather. There was a light breeze and it caused Shizuo's hair to blow lightly in the wind, causing his hair to become messier than it already was.

Izaya reached out and plucked a cherry blossom petal from Shizuo's hair. The cherry blossom petal must have been blown into Shizuo's hair and Izaya couldn't help the laugh that escaped him.

Shizuo turned his head to look at Izaya skeptically as the shorter male snickered. It confused him as to why he was laughing all of a sudden.

Izaya calmed down from his laughing fit, "You had a cherry blossom petal in your hair" Izaya explained. 

"Oh, I see."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. The silence was calm and relaxing and it made Shizuo lean his back against the tree. The silence was interrupted when Izaya spoke.

"Shizu-chan, do you ever think that in another lifetime we could've been friends?"

Shizuo looked over at Izaya "What kind of a question is that?" 

Izaya pursed his lips "Forget I ever asked that question"

Shizuo frowned and let out a sigh, he was never good at talking about this kind of thing with Izaya "In another lifetime? Sure I guess we could've been friends. It would just have to play out differently."

"Why are you asking this though?" Shizuo wondered.

"No reason at all Shizu-chan! I was just testing you to see if your protozoan brain was capable of thinking of such things. My hypothesis was correct! Gold star for you!" 

Lies.

Izaya hadn't asked that question just to test if Shizuo's mind was capable of thinking. It was merely a confirmation to Izaya that if things had played out differently they could've been friends. If Izaya hadn't taunted Shizuo on that day they could've been friends.

If they had so tried to put effort into actually becoming such a thing as friends then how would things be different?

Perhaps if they had been friends then Izaya wouldn't have found himself falling for Shizuo.


	8. It's Not Nice To See You Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo and Izaya reunite but not in the way they planned  
> There's only one question on Shizuo's mind,
> 
> What is Izaya plotting?

As soon as Shinra had said those words, Shizuo bolted out of the apartment towards the streets below. He knew that Shinra might have known where the flea was and he was right. Shinra did in fact know where Izaya was hiding. What Shizuo didn't expect was the mention that Izaya might be at their old high school. It confused Shizuo as to why Izaya was hiding in a place like that but this was Izaya and he was known to be unpredictable. 

Shizuo ran down the wet streets of Ikebukuro towards Raira. It had been a while since he had been to the school, he hadn't been there since his high school days and that was a long time ago. 

If Izaya really was there, Shizuo wondered what was about to happen. He knew that it wasn't going to be a friendly reunion since the last time they had seen each other he had tried to kill the other. But if Izaya really was alive then that meant that his demise had been planned right from the start.

He never truly understood what was going on in that head of his. He was just too damn hard to figure out.

These thoughts plagued Shizuo's thoughts and it irritated him greatly. 

Before he knew it, he was standing right in front of his old high school. He looked around and searched for a way to infiltrate the school. That's when he noticed a hole in the fence, from what he remembered Shizuo had created that hole in the fence in an attempt to get to Izaya. It seemed like the school still hadn't gotten around to repairing it.

Shizuo easily ducked through the hole in the fence and started walking towards the familiar pathway that would lead to the stairwell leading to the roof.

As he climbed these stairs all that he could think of was the flea. Shizuo didn't know why he was still thinking of him. Perhaps it was because of the informant's unexpected return or possibly it could've been because he knew that the person he had loved in high school was not dead. It could've been either of those two options. But perhaps it was the latter, the second option seemed to give him relief in knowing that he was not at fault. 

When he got to the top of the stairwell, he took a deep breath and looked down at his shaky hands. They were covered in a nervous sweat which was completely preposterous considering the situation. With another deep breath he opened the door and stepped out onto the roof.

That's when he saw him.

His back was turned towards him but he had removed his hood from his head, he wasn't wearing the same fur coat as before but he still had the same raven hair and brown eyes he remembered him having.

Izaya turned towards Shizuo as he stepped onto the roof of the building. "Nice to see you again, Shizu-chan."

At that moment, Shizuo didn't know what to say. What are you supposed to say to someone who's been gone for a year and has been declared dead? 

"It's not nice to see you again, flea" Shizuo answered, not knowing what else to say. 

Izaya pouted, "That's not very nice Shizu-chan. I was expecting more of a 'welcome back!' "

"You don't deserve a welcome back. What are you even back for?"

"No reason! I simply missed my precious humans!" Another lie again. How many lies has that been? 

"Knowing you, you aren't one to reappear after a year just to check on your humans." Hm perhaps that lie didn't work against Shizu-chan.

Izaya held his hands out as if waiting for them to be cuffed, "Oh no! You got me!' 

"What are you really back for?"

"Unfortunately that remains a secret for now, Shizu-chan. Though you will know what I'm back for all in due time."

"Don't give me that 'all in due time' bullshit. Just tell me what the fuck you're back for"

"I'm positive that your protozoan brain wouldn't comprehend it Shizu-chan" 

That's when Shizuo lost it. He had had enough of all of this bullshit that Izaya was spouting. What the fuck was the bastard even plotting that he would avoid the topic as much as possible for? He ran towards Izaya and aimed a punch towards his face.

Izaya easily dodged the blow to the face by ducking and flicking open his switchblade and slashing Shizuo across the chest. It wasn't really a surprise that Shizuo had chosen to react this way. Izaya knew that Shizuo never planned to actually kill Izaya but he knew that Shizuo was now surrounded by people he called friends and this infuriated Izaya.

Though Shizuo still reacted this way, he now had friends that believed that he really wasn't a monster but in fact a human. The problem with Shizuo having friends was that it meant that Izaya was left all alone. There was no way to manipulate Shizuo like that anymore since he was no longer friendless but that's why Izaya planned to turn humanity against Shizuo. This is why instead of doing the dirty work himself he was simply viewing the whole ordeal as a spectator. 

Though not many people were loyal to Izaya, he still planned to use them to make Shizuo become friendless once again. The only way to do this was to simply eliminate each and every one of Shizuo's friends from this sick and twisted game of chess.

They were no longer pawns that were useful to him after all. 

And in the end he believed that he would find himself to be the victor of this twisted game of chess.

The mastermind has finally returned.

\------------------------------------------------------

It seemed almost nostalgic that they were in this predicament.

Shinra was currently bandaging Shizuo's chest which was from what Shizuo had told him, a slash to the chest. Shizuo had told him that Izaya had slashed him across the chest because Shizuo threw a punch towards Izaya's face. It really was Shizuo's fault though.

If Shizuo hadn't thrown that punch at Izaya then Shinra was positive that they wouldn't be in this situation. 

Shizuo had shown up back at Shinra's door, a complete mess with several cuts covering his body. Of course Shinra's first reaction to this was "I'm guessing your reunion didn't go well" which almost caused Shizuo to punch Shinra as well.

"Oh? So Orihara-kun is planning something?" This really wasn't a surprise to Shinra, knowing Izaya he was always plotting something like this. 

"That damn flea didn't tell me what it was though" Shizuo answered.

"Hm, well Orihara-kun isn't the kind of person to just reveal his entire plan to you right then and there. What would be the fun in that?" 

Shinra finished bandaging Shizuo's chest "I just don't know what he's planning to do this time."

"I'm as clueless as you are right now so I wouldn't know" 

Shizuo groaned "I just need to figure out what that damn flea is up to before something happens"

"Hmm have you ever considered that his plan could involve you?"

"What?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aha but honestly what were you expecting for Shizuo and Izaya's reunion?


	9. Not The Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Shizuo can think about right now is what Izaya could possibly be planning.
> 
> Izaya however notices that something about Shizuo seems off.
> 
> Will Izaya figure out what is the cause of this change?

Maybe Shinra was right, maybe he was part of Izaya's twisted plan or whatever the fuck all of this was.

Izaya had always been a manipulative bastard and to be a part of Izaya's plan was quite suspicious in itself. Shizuo had been victim to many of Izaya's plans in the past but he never really played any major roles. That was why the idea of being a major part of Izaya's plan was so absurd.

What did Izaya even plan to do to Shizuo?

No matter how hard he tried he couldn't guess what the flea was planning. He was far beyond a normal person's comprehension and his view of the world was rather twisted. 

Shizuo let out a sigh as he walked down the sidewalk leading to his house where he should have returned hours ago. Whatever Izaya's plan was, Shizuo wanted no part in it whatsoever but alas he always seemed to be a part of these plans no matter what happened.

Shizuo looked up at the sky. It was still dark out but he knew that it wouldn't be long before the sun rose. Truthfully he hadn't been checking the time and when he did have the chance he realized it was one in the morning. It was all Izaya's fault that he was going to be grumpy the next day.

Besides didn't the flea ever sleep? 

Knowing the flea he would most likely be up until the ass crack of dawn doing whatever the fuck he did in his spare time.

From what Shinra had told him, he knew that Izaya had insomnia so Izaya had his reasons as to why he would be awake.

Shizuo walked up the stairs to his apartment and unlocked the door with his key. Once he opened the door and stepped inside he shut the door behind him and locked it.

Letting out a tired sigh he walked to his bedroom and promptly fell onto his bed, not bothering to change. Soon after he fell asleep.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Izaya had returned home not even an hour ago and he had sat down at his desk and turned his computer on, making himself a cup of coffee before all of this. 

His reunion with Shizuo didn't go quite as he had planned but that was what hypothesis's were about. You guessed what would happen and you would watch the experiment take place to see if you were right.

At first the beast had resorted to asking him what he was planning but what would be the fun in revealing his entire plan to his nemesis? Especially when his nemesis was the one who was the major part of this plan.

And then as he had expected him to, Shizuo attacked him by throwing a punch aimed directly at his face, the only thing that disappointed Izaya was the fact that Shizuo still hadn't learned that punching him in the face was not going to work.

Shizuo had seemed like he was everything Izaya remembered him to be but there was something hidden that Izaya couldn't quite place.

Normally he was an expert at decoding humans but the Shizuo that he had just met wasn't the same Shizuo he had known back then and that irritated Izaya beyond belief. 

What could've happened to him to make him this way?

Izaya didn't like this new Shizuo at all. He wasn't the Shizuo that he had foolishly fallen for in high school. This Shizuo was more calm and worst of all he looked tired, perhaps it was his friends that caused this? 

Or was this his own fault for leaving Ikebukuro for a year?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry if this is short but I literally did not have the motivation to write and I kept reminding myself that I had to update this story at some point.


	10. Starting Off With A Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of a plan always has to start off with a bang, no?

To put it simply, Shizuo was completely tired of all of this shit.

He had thought that it would be a peaceful week considering he hadn't seen the flea anywhere in Ikebukuro but he knew something was up. It was more of a gut instinct that something bad was going to happen soon and his gut was right. Things went downhill extremely fast.

It had all seemed peaceful until a bang resounded throughout the entire city. Citizens looked around them in terror to see where the sound had come from. 

Everyone was confused as to where the sound of a gun could've come from until the sound of a woman shrieking pierced through the air and everybody around him turned to their right.

Ever cautiously, Shizuo turned to his right and was met with the sight of a body amidst a slowly growing pool of blood. There was blood everywhere, it had splattered onto the wall of a building and everything was covered in that sickly red colour.

Shizuo quickly surveyed the scene around him in search of the person who had killed the man lying there on the ground in broad daylight. He had almost given up hope that the culprit wasn't anywhere to be seen until he caught a glimpse of what looked like a coat darting around a corner.

Shizuo quickly ran after them and turned around the corner from which the culprit had last been seen. He sprinted towards them when he caught them in his line of sight and deliberately reached out for them.

They were in an alleyway and from what could be seen it was a dead end. With more force than necessary he gripped the coats hood and turned the person around so they were facing him.

What he was met with was blue hair and a recognizable shark mask. From what he had learned, he knew that the boy in front of hims name was Aoba Kuronuma. He was a high school student and he used to be affiliated with that Mikado kid. 

Though he didn't know why someone as young as him would dare to actually put a gun to someones head and pull the trigger. Despite how nasty the kid had seemed back than he never suspected that he would actually kill a person of his own free will.

"Why did you do this, huh?" he asked as he lifted the kid by the collar of his shirt with ease. 

"What's it to you? You're just the monster of Ikebukuro, why should you care?" Aoba deflected the question with ease and instead retaliating with another question.

"Why did you fucking do this?! Answer me!" The blond was now seething with anger. Now he saw why this kid was so desperate to become the new informant of Ikebukuro. He definitely had the vibe for it but he was nothing compared to Izaya. 

"Fine, Orihara-san told me that if I do this for him then he would give me something in return." 

"It's that fucking flea's fault? I knew he had something to do with all of this." Now he knew why he hadn't seen Izaya at all this entire week, he had been too busy conducting this plan to actually show his face.

"It doesn't really matter, he was just a lowly businessman who was in trouble with the yakuza for tricking them. Why should you care though? Do you really think that you can save everybody in this city?"

"Shut the hell up!" Shizuo roared as he threw the boy into the wall. He usually didn't beat up kids that young but for someone who had just murdered somebody he didn't deserve any of that mercy that he usually gave everybody else.

Once Shizuo had stalked away from the scene in anger Aoba managed to pull out his cellphone with shaky hands. He typed in the number that he was so familiar with and put the phone up to his ear as he listened to the sound of the ringing. 

Finally the person on the other end picked up. "Hello Aoba-kun."

"I finished the mission that you assigned to me, Orihara-san." 

"Hm that's good, that's one person out of the way." 

"But there was a slight interference."

"Oh? What interference could this possibly be?"

"I ran into Heiwajima Shizuo."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a while until Izaya spoke up "Ah I see, you bumped into Shizu-chan. That's not really a problem."

"You better hold up your end of the deal." Aoba ground out.

"Of course! Have I ever lied to you Aoba-kun?"

"Yes, you have. In fact many times."

A laugh was heard from the other line "Well I can assure you that I am not lying."

"That's hard to believe coming from you."

"Of course it is. Goodbye Aoba-kun. Ah and try not to get too beat up." Izaya added in as an afterthought. 

Before Aoba could answer Izaya, he was hung up on immediately after Izaya had said that.

What does he mean by 'try not to get too beat up'? That's when he looked up and his face immediately paled as his gaze was met with a gang of thugs carrying baseball bats and glaring holes through him menacingly.

God damn that bastard informant.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

The line went dead as the informant had hung up on the blue haired teen. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of his phone notifying him that the call had been disconnected. Turning around in his chair, he stood up and walked towards the window. Peering down at the humans below as they went on with their lives as if nothing was wrong. 

However they would soon be alerted by the news as they sat down to eat dinner that night that there had been a murder. 

Izaya never did like to get his hands dirty, however since he had joined the Awakusu-kai once again and had revealed that he was in fact alive he was given a mission to start off with. Think of it as punishment for taking a year off of work.

The mission was quite boring to research, apparently the man had been a businessman who had seemed normal on the outside but was involved in many incidents of sexual assault and he was known to trick the Awakusu-kai. Easily backing out of deals at the last minute when the work had already been done.

In Izaya's eyes he wasn't in the least bit interesting. The Awakusu-kai at the moment didn't have any hit men to go out and do the killing so he was left with the job of finding someone capable to commit murder.

Aoba wasn't his first choice but he did have a talent to defy the informant and that only made him all the more interesting. If Aoba did this then he would get something in return.

When they had met to discuss the job, he had easily lied to Aoba saying that he would give him the reward he so desired. Though Aoba's wish was lame. Even though it was fairly simple to grant what he wanted he didn't feel that he deserved it.

He was in no way capable of becoming Ikebukuro's newest informant. He was far too headstrong and didn't contain any wisdom to actually be feared.

Everything turned out perfectly but the thing that bothered him the most was the fact that Shizu-chan had interfered. Of course he knew that in one way or another Shizu-chan would always end up interfering in his plans. 

It bothered him greatly but the only way to get back the Shizu-chan he had come to known was to subject him to the way things were before.

This plan of his was only getting started after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally had no idea how to continue this story from the last chapter so I sincerely apologize if this chapter completely sucked.


	11. The Mastermind's Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts of Izaya won't get out of his head no matter how hard he tries.
> 
> He thinks these thoughts have finally left him until he receives something in the mail that makes these thoughts resurface.
> 
> What is Izaya planning by doing this?

So he was behind all of this, huh?

That's not really all that surprising. He always seemed to be behind whatever happened to this city. Like a mastermind playing with peoples lives as if they were the puppets he was controlling.

It all seemed quite sadistic. 

But a lot can change a person in a year and it wasn't like he cared what really happened to his mental state. He never seemed to be right in the head throughout all of the years that he had known him. He didn't seem to be in his right mind during high school either. 

Though having someone murder somebody else in broad daylight while they sat and watched behind the scenes was quite messed up.

Where was he planning to go from here?

Shizuo had no clue.

All that he knew was there was more to come. Something was brewing in this city and he didn't like it in the slightest bit. If this plan endangered the friends that he had made over the course of a few years then he wouldn't hesitate in killing the flea completely.

But killing him was what Izaya would've wanted.

He would've wanted to be killed by Shizuo so he would once again be labeled as a monster by society. Though the real monster here was really Izaya who was playing with people's lives like a child would play with dolls. 

Though as much as he worried for his friends, he found himself worrying for Izaya as well.

Wanting to die by a monster's hands was not normal in the slightest and Shizuo had found himself wondering why Izaya wanted to die like this.

Or rather, why Izaya wanted to die at all.

Was this because of him?

These were the thoughts that raced through his mind in a blur as he stared at the ceiling with a blank face. He had not changed his clothes from work the day before so it was quite uncomfortable waking up like this.

He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Despite sleeping for a few hours he was still tired from the day before. It was his own fault that he hadn't gotten enough sleep.

If he had just decided to search for Izaya in the morning he wouldn't be so tired right now but instead he had decided to search for him all night. Actually finding him and speaking to him was also a waste of time because their conversation was getting nowhere since Izaya kept evading the questions.

He was about to get up and get ready for work when he realized that it was a Saturday. 

Ah I see, I wasted my Friday evening chasing the stupid louse.

What a nuisance. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ah how Izaya wished he could skip like he used to.

Skipping to places was always fun and it was much faster than walking. Yet here he was walking to his destination with his hood up because he could no longer skip.

How terribly boring.

There was a mailbox in the lobby of his apartment and that was where he was heading as of now. The sole reason to go to this mailbox was to send a letter. It sounded quite silly but all he was doing was sending a simple letter to his nemesis like it was no big deal.

Nemesis's definitely did this all the time, he was sure of it.

It wasn't a love letter as one would expect though the feelings for this certain nemesis were still there and had been growing with a burning passion. It was more of a letter that would confuse him. A mind game if you will. 

It was going to be fun seeing how everything turned out.

What was the meaning of all of this?

That remains a secret for now.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Normally he didn't check his mailbox often but he had a feeling that it would be best to check it. It was the next day and the fight on Friday still remained fresh in his mind. As he took the key out of his pocket and inserted it into the lock, turning the key to the right and then back again he opened his mailbox.

Normally there wasn't anything there but what was unusual was the carmine letter and two tulips sitting in the center. The tulips were white and yellow and they seemed to be handled with care and it looked like they had just been bought. 

With curiosity he picked up the letter and opened the envelope that it had come with.

Opening the folded piece of paper, all he could do was stare blankly at what the message had said.

Dear Shizu-chan.

Our meetup on Friday was quite a terrible reunion, don't you agree? Please do me the honor of meeting up with me again so we can properly see each other again.

Ah and if you're wondering, this isn't some twisted prank of mine.

~ Orihara Izaya

He had signed it with a smiley face again and Shizuo wondered when Izaya started to sign letters like that. To people who didn't know him they would assume that the smiley face was genuine but Shizuo knew that most of the smiles that Izaya gave were fake.

What was shocking was that the flea had dared to invite him out for a chat. Normally he would approach the situation with caution considering he didn't know what Izaya could be planning. It could've been an ambush disguised as a simple chat for all he knew.

But why would Izaya go out of his way to write a letter when he could just send him an email or a text?

This was what confused him.

What confused him even more was both the white tulip and the yellow tulip, what were those for? Maybe it was for someone else? But this was his mailbox and there was a small card next to it that said 'For Shizu-chan' so it couldn't have been for somebody else.

What did Izaya mean by all of this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aha be warned there might be quite a bit of flower symbolism in the chapters to follow.  
> White tulips are normally affiliated with one-sided love.  
> Just wanted to point that out there.
> 
> Originally I was going to make the tulips red for undying love but I figured it would be better if it was one-sided love since it fits the story better.


	12. I Forgive You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya and Shizuo meet up at a cafe and discuss the things they never got to discuss on that Friday night.
> 
> But what happens when Shizuo asks about the meaning of the flowers that Izaya sent?
> 
> Will Izaya have no choice but to think of a plan B?

Why was he so nervous about this?

Was it the fact that he was about to meet up with his enemy for the second time in a year? Maybe that was it. Their last meeting didn't end on good terms since in the end it had only resorted to violence.

Shizuo normally had some control over his temper that would flare up whenever he was angry and back then he had calmed himself down enough to show Izaya that he truly had changed, but in the end it was all for naught because all Izaya ever did was frustrate him and it scared him to believe that he was going back to his old ways.

A year without Izaya had changed him.

He wasn't prone to using violence whenever something pissed him off that much anymore but he lived every day expecting to catch a whiff of the scent he had come to know or to catch the flash of a black, fur trimmed coat darting around a corner.

But now that Izaya was back in Ikebukuro it brought too many of his insecurities back up to the surface. The things he hated about himself would be uprooted once again and there was nothing he could to stop it.

Tugging the sleeves of his sweater down to cover most of his hands, he sat in the uncomfortable chair waiting for him to arrive. The cafe was tiny and it was overshadowed by the huge city buildings. Unlike the outside, the interior of the cafe was warm and cheery, with bright lights and colorful walls. Small vases of white camellia's were placed in the center of each table and the air smelled of coffee beans.

It was quite cozy and it was presented this way to make anyone who entered feel at home. 

The bell at the door chimed indicating someone had just walked in and he turned his head to at least acknowledge them. Shizuo's breath hitched when he was met with a familiar face. He was met with short black hair and brown eyes and an insufferable smile. 

He watched as he walked across the floor to the table he was at and sat down in the chair across from him.

Crossing his arms and looking up to meet Shizuo's eyes, he spoke; "Hello Shizu-chan."

Shizuo's hands settled around the cup of coffee he had ordered to hide his nervousness, "Hello."

Shizuo sensed that Izaya seemed a little off as well. He didn't have the confidence he was usually affiliated with and it was replaced with what Shizuo determined was nervousness. They both weren't so sure about this meetup even if this was the second time they had talked in a year. 

Shizuo turned his gaze to the cup he was holding in his hands. The coffee was surely going cold since he had yet to take a sip of it. But he knew that even if he did decide to take a sip, it would do nothing to quench his anxiety. 

Izaya kept his gaze trained on Shizuo but he seemed to be hesitant to say anything. Izaya had rehearsed the conversation at least once and was confident that this meetup would go smoothly but now that he was seated in front of him and he had a clear view of his face, he wasn't so sure anymore. 

Quickly thinking of something to say to break the silence that had enveloped them he spoke up, "You look nice today." Izaya noted, Shizuo seemed to have put in at least a little effort into picking out the clothes he was to wear today and it surprised Izaya at the fact that he probably had chosen his clothes carefully to look presentable for Izaya.

"Oh, thank you" Shizuo responded, albeit awkwardly. That probably wasn't the best thing to say but he knew that he had to say something to break the awkward silence.

"You look nice as well." Izaya wasn't expecting the complement from Shizuo but he still welcomed it. Clearing his throat, he spoke; "Anyway, I have chosen to meet up with you to catch up on things that we didn't have the chance to talk about at our last meeting." 

Their last meeting was a complete disaster since the only words that were spoken were about what Izaya's plans were but it wouldn't be fun to spoil the plans to the person who was involved in them.

Izaya was disappointed to say the least that Shizuo hadn't even chosen to say a simple 'welcome back'.

If he was in Shizuo's position back then he would be mad too that his nemesis had come back to Ikebukuro expecting a welcome back when they had been gone for a year but he couldn't blame him after all.

"Right." Looking at Shizuo's face he knew that he seemed a little bit anxious to breach the topic of that night a year ago and Izaya couldn't blame him for that either. 

Letting out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, he decided to make this talk as casual as possible as if they were discussing the weather when they were talking about almost being killed and regrets.

"Before I say anything else I would like to let you know that I forgive you for what you did." Shizuo looked confused and he looked like he was about to retort that he didn't deserve forgiveness but Izaya was already one step ahead of him. 

"Before you tell me that you don't deserve forgiveness, I hope you know that I don't care whether you believe that I should forgive you or not. I have long since forgiven you yet the only one who hasn't forgiven you is yourself." 

Shizuo went silent at that. "It's true that I don't forgive myself for what I have done but I don't understand how you can forgive me so easily."

"That's where you're wrong Shizu-chan. It wasn't easy at all to forgive you for what you had done to me and it took a long time to finally reach a decision but whatever you say or do won't change my opinion."

Izaya was then met with a curt "Oh, I see." It infuriated Izaya to know that this Shizuo wasn't like the one he had known for so many years but he didn't know what happened to Shizuo in the time span of a year after all and whatever had happened to make him like this he was going to find out.

"White tulips usually symbolize forgiveness, did you know that?" This captured Shizuo's attention and he looked to meet Izaya's eyes. 

"Ah, no I didn't know that. What do yellow tulips mean though?" Shizuo asked, looking for the answer.

Izaya hadn't expected to have to answer the question so soon but looking away from Shizuo so he didn't have to look him in those chocolate brown eyes of his, he spoke. "Yellow tulips sometimes mean one-sided love." 

Shizuo blinked once, and then twice. Not entirely believing what he had just heard. Yellow tulips apparently meant one-sided love which meant that Izaya truly did love him and this wasn't just some sort of twisted reality his brain had come up with.

Shizuo hadn't spoken for quite some time now and it only ignited the nervousness that was dwelling within Izaya, maybe he couldn't return his feelings after all.

Izaya's thoughts were halted when something was placed in front of him. Taking in the white flower, he picked it up and studied it to see what type of flower it was. From what he had studied he found that the flower he was holding was called a gardenia and if Izaya's memory was correct then gardenia's were affiliated with secret love.

Izaya's eyes darted up to meet Shizuo's and he was met with a smile that had seemed so genuinely sweet with just the right amount of shyness. Izaya felt the heat growing on his cheeks. Izaya felt awkward, demure and coy; even going as far as to try to hide the ever growing blush on his cheeks behind slim fingers.

With embarrassment from admitting this in public, Izaya confessed. "I love you too, Shizu-chan." A hand reached out from across the table and Izaya found himself intertwining his fingers with Shizuo's rough hand. His hands weren't as soft as Izaya's felt but they weren't the roughest hands either. It was like Shizuo's hands fell into the fine line between soft and rough. 

Izaya found comfort like he had never felt before, hand in hand with Shizuo. Hands wandered and caressed palms with thumbs and in that moment Izaya knew that he would be alright. 

But remembering the plan that he had thought of and spent countless hours thinking about brought a bitter taste to his mouth. Even though he had convinced himself that he would go through with this plan and get the Shizuo he loved and missed back, he couldn't bear to go through with it any longer. If things changed then he would have to think of a plan B.

Something that wouldn't hurt the one he loved but rather society instead.

Because even though he loved the Shizuo that he had come to know through all of those years, he found himself loving the Shizuo in this moment even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> White tulips - Forgiveness
> 
> Yellow tulips - One-sided love
> 
> Gardenia - Secret love
> 
> Okay so there might have been a change in plans of where this story is heading so I hope you don't mind that. As you can see the plan was to originally bring the Shizuo that Izaya loved back but I found that as I was writing this chapter, it wouldn't make sense to bring back the old Shizuo when Izaya has fallen for the new one.
> 
> So plan B will have to be something that does not involve Shizuo in any way whatsoever.
> 
> I'm actually so excited because I already have an idea of where I can go with this idea.


	13. Has A Year Changed Us?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through the course of a year, Shizuo had changed drastically but as he spends more time with Izaya he keeps wondering whether or not a year had changed him too.

It had been a little past over an hour and they were still sitting at the table in the colorful cafe. Their hands had moved under the table instead of sitting on top of it but they still found comfort in holding the others hand even if it wasn't out in the open. Under the table seemed like a wise choice.

Thankfully Izaya had chosen a cafe that wasn't in Ikebukuro but it wasn't quite in Shinjuku either so they wouldn't see anybody that either of them knew.

Shizuo found himself absently tracing smooth circles in the skin of Izaya's hand with his thumb as they sat at the table and talked in peace.

Their conversation had first been about how Izaya had forgiven Shizuo for the things that he had done, even though Shizuo still disagreed that he didn't deserve Izaya's forgiveness at all. Shizuo had ended up hurting Izaya on that night and he had noticed the way Izaya had resorted to walking which had only filled him with immense guilt at what had been his fault.

Despite Izaya's reassurance that he was fine, Shizuo couldn't forgive himself.

Knowing it was useless to even ask about what Izaya was planning he decided to make conversation about things such as how he was doing or what he was doing now that he was back in the Ikebukuro area.

Izaya had complained that his legs were going to end up getting cramped if they were to sit here for any longer but even though he knew that Izaya already spent many hours sitting at a desk, typing away at his computer he obliged anyway.

So here they were now, walking along the streets, hand in hand. 

Shoulders brushed as they walked hand in hand down the streets and they took in the scene around them. It was spring and the warmth of the sun enveloped both of them. Flowers were blooming in the tepid air that gently encouraged them and birds chirped in the trees above them. 

The wind wasn't as strong as he had remembered it to be and it had become ambient, congenial, blowing branches and tousling their hair as they walked. The petals of cherry blossom trees tumbled from the branches above at the slightest gust of wind, petals flew into Shizuo's wind tousled hair and Izaya couldn't help the laugh that escaped him.

Shizuo turned towards him in confusion, eyebrows scrunching together in the way that Izaya always liked. "What are you laughing for?" 

"No reason, you just have a few cherry blossom petals in your hair." Shizuo made to get the petals out of his hair himself but Izaya insisted that he do it. Izaya stood on his tip toes and plucked the pink petals out of Shizuo's hair.

Izaya watched as the pink petals descended to the ground in a graceful tumbling motion. To Izaya this moment seemed nostalgic, he remembered that day from back in his high school days clearly. He remembered the tree that they had sat under, the petals that fell in Shizuo's hair and the question that still haunted him to this day.

'Do you think that in another lifetime we could've been friends?'

Even though they were his own words, they had still caused him to spend countless hours pondering over whether or not it was a possibility that if Shizuo and Izaya had met under different circumstances they wouldn't have spent the rest of their lives in high school painfully pining over the other, having no idea the other was pining after them as well.

The Izaya from over a year ago would have burst out laughing and called those simple daydreams ridiculous, for Shizuo and Izaya were two of the most feared people in Ikebukuro and the thought of them ever being friends was preposterous.

But time had changed him.

Being away from Shizuo for so long had only given him more time to think of the blonde and he found himself thinking of the question that had haunted him for years now. It had changed Izaya's views and he found himself wondering if on that day many years ago if the circumstances were different, they could have been friends.

If they had gotten along instead of declared themselves each others nemesis then how would things play out?

Even if that day was in the past, Izaya still found himself asking whether or not it was too late to try and mend the seams that had frayed in their relationship. The relationship that they had built was hanging on only by the sparse string of a thread and Izaya found himself wondering if he could stitch up the thing that was their relationship.

Izaya had never expected them to go from enemies to lovers. Truth be told, Izaya had brought Shizuo to that cafe in hopes that there was a chance that they could become friends and leave the past behind. 

But Izaya was never one to leave the past behind, always digging it back up again whenever he tried to bury it. It was simply his nature. 

By sending the flowers, he had found himself holding his breath. Waiting in hope that by sending these flowers, Shizuo would return his feelings back. Even if this wasn't planned, Izaya didn't mind. As long as they could be seen as the world in each other's eyes, Izaya didn't mind seeing Shizuo as the man he loved.

Izaya had absentmindedly found himself swinging their hands as they walked. Shizuo looked at Izaya out of the corner of his eye. "What are you so happy for anyway?" 

Izaya kept looking forward at the path that they were walking down. "Do you remember that time back then when we were in high school when we were sitting underneath that cherry blossom tree and I asked you if we could've been friends in another life?"

"Hm, ah right that conversation." Shizuo found himself remembering the day when Izaya had asked the question that confused him back then?

"Anyway I was just thinking that even though I asked whether we could've been friends in another life if we had met under different circumstances, I'm fine with the life I have now."

Shizuo turned to look at Izaya "Why is that?" 

Izaya turned his head to look into Shizuo's chocolate brown eyes. "Because if we had been friends in another lifetime then I wouldn't have fallen in love with you like this and honestly I wouldn't trade this life for the world." 

Izaya had never seen Shizuo blush like this, sure at times he would blush but not as red as his face was now. Shizuo's cheeks had become a color that reminded Izaya of the cherry blossom petals that were drifting through the wind. He was amused to see that Shizuo's face looked like it was on fire but that didn't hide the fact that his cheeks were also the same color of pink, though less darker.

Izaya's thoughts were disrupted when he felt Shizuo's fingers flick him right between his eyes. He immediately scrunched up his nose and glared up at him. 

"Stop saying such embarrassing things." Shizuo grumbled, with the flush of pink still on his face.

Izaya's mouth morphed into a grin, "Oh? What will you do if I continue to be embarrassing?"

"Then I'll," Shizuo thought for a moment, "I'll embarrass you out in public." 

"That's not going to affect me Shizu-chan." Izaya smirked, triumphant as ever.

"Really? Then what if I embarrass you out in public in Ikebukuro in front of everyone?" Shizuo knew he had found something that would surely embarrass Izaya when he witnessed Izaya's triumphant smirk wither away into a pout. 

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"That's mean Shizu-chan." Izaya whined, "Embarrassing me in front of everyone when they don't know that I'm alive yet is cruel." 

"Doesn't that Aoba kid know you're alive though?" Shizuo asked. The last thing he had seen of the blue haired teen was when he had thrown him into the brick wall of the alleyway. If Shizuo was being honest, he didn't regret smashing the kid into the wall. Besides the kid was what caused Mikado's downfall. 

"He doesn't matter anymore. He's sworn to secrecy." Izaya assured. Izaya had made sure 

"So what did you use to get him to agree to murder that guy?" Knowing Izaya he surely threatened Aoba to do his bidding because no matter how Shizuo detested it, it was just the way Izaya did business.

"Nothing much, I simply threatened that I would hurt Mikado-kun if he didn't agree but I also told him that I would grant one of his wishes if he succeeded." Izaya said as if that was something normal to say.

"I wasn't actually going to hurt Mikado-kun though." Izaya added in as an afterthought which gave Shizuo slight reassurance. 

"Granting wishes? You make it sound like you're some kind of twisted fairy godmother." Only imagining Izaya dressed like a fairy with a wand and everything brought a smile to his face and he attempted to hide back the laughter that he knew was going to erupt.

"Ha ha very funny Shizu-chan." Izaya said sarcastically. 

"So what did he wish for?" Shizuo resumed the conversation from where they had left off.

"He wanted to replace me as the 'infamous informant of Ikebukuro' but there was no way that would work out for him. Though he does have potential, he's far too headstrong and unwise to be considered an applicant for the job of an informant."

"Hm, you're right. He wouldn't be suited for the job." 

"Ah even you agree with me, that's new." Izaya noted.

"Well, a lot has changed in a year." Shizuo retorted.

"Indeed it has." Izaya reflected. Their lives had changed in the months that they had been without each other and whether it was for the bad or good was a question he couldn't answer even if he tried. 

But the one thing he did know was that he didn't want what they had right now to change at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised myself that I would create chapter 13 yesterday but I just didn't have the motivation to do so.  
> This chapter might be a bit long because it's to apologize for not updating it according to schedule.
> 
> This might happen often. Moments where I have no desire to write so I don't create a new chapter so if there isn't a new chapter on the day you know it usually updates on then I am incredibly sorry.


	14. The Complexity of the Mastermind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya contemplates many of the things that are going on in the world around him.

It was to be expected. Whenever there was a murder, police would immediately investigate it with high beliefs that they would find the culprit. Though the culprit wasn’t him, it still gave him a sense of uneasiness to believe that Aoba might let loose words that would cause great harm to the Awakusu Kai and to himself.

It had been all over the news so he was certain that everybody knew of it by now. Though murdering a man in broad daylight was quite the terrible way to kill someone. Murders were to be precise and planned wisely.

Not enacted out of the blue in broad daylight where everybody could witness it. Aoba was a fool for actually believing that Izaya would actually grant his wish of becoming an informant as well.

Planning a murder like this wasn’t up to his tastes. He wasn’t planning on murdering anyone himself but if he no choice but to murder someone, he would have chosen to commit it at night and with incredible wisdom that no one else would have had so he wouldn’t have gotten caught.

What he found interesting was the fact that Shizuo hadn’t voiced any complaints about the matter. Sure he could tell that he was a bit spooked by witnessing a murder in broad daylight but he hadn’t seemed to be holding a grudge against him so as long as he knew that he was fine with it.

The plan had been Shiki’s idea. The man was to be murdered in broad daylight so everybody could witness how terrible he must’ve been in his life to be killed by a group of people such as the Awakusu Kai.

They had told Izaya to pick someone to commit it so people wouldn’t suspect that this was all part of the Awakusu Kai’s plan and Izaya wouldn’t be involved in any way. No one would suspect a teenage boy to commit a murder right?

Shizuo and Izaya had chosen to meet up once in awhile so as not to raise any suspicion that there was more beyond the fake mask they put on their relationship when out in public. They were in love, that much was clear but seeing as how Izaya had only been back in Japan for a couple weeks so far, he still wanted to keep his return a secret from most people.

Oftentimes he found himself wondering what the people he had taken advantage of in the past year were up to. The notion was quite a sadistic way of thinking. Thinking of people who he had corrupted in the past wasn’t a normal thing to think about but who was he to say that he was normal?

His questions ranged from wondering how they were doing either academically or in general or if they had fully recovered from the pain of the past that he had inflicted upon him. Was Mikado still the class representative? Was Kida still trying to pick up girls like he was in the past or had he been broken enough to the point that he didn’t care about trivial things like that anymore. Was Anri still struggling with her inner demons on whether she was a monster or not?

These were the questions that remained unanswered and Izaya knew he would never know the answers to these questions unless he found them himself. As of now though he wasn’t willing to find the answers to these questions.

He had caused those people too much unnecessary suffering and he didn’t regret anything that he had said or done to them. After all remorse was not a main part of Izaya’s character and he would like to keep it that way.

Looking at others with pity was pathetic. What good was showing pity to a person who had suffered? It did nothing to help them in any way. What good was looking at anyone with pity when there was nothing you could do to reverse the thing that had caused them to become like this?

This was one of the many reasons why he didn’t have any regrets for what he had done. To regret something meant to be stuck in the past for sometimes all of eternity. Orihara Izaya was not someone who liked to dwell on the past for what good was the past when the present was more important? 

People in the past had no relevancy anyway. They were just an annoying burden to the list of people that he had met along the course of his life. If they weren’t constantly changing and always staying the same then they became less interesting.

What a bore, really.

An example of an interesting person would be Shizuo. He was a master puzzle that he couldn’t quite discern. At one point he would be able to pinpoint everything about him but then in the next instant he was left without a clue.

Perhaps this was why he still kept him in his life despite all of the years they had spent around each other, fighting. He was simply interesting and it intrigued him with each passing day. Heiwajima Shizuo was a puzzle that Izaya would never tire of trying to solve.

The nature of these thoughts was probably one of the reasons why his mind was a complex mystery to everyone who had ever met him. His mind was like a maze that only he could find the exit to. The sheer complexity of his thoughts was what astounded people and it delighted him to know that.

Currently spinning around in his chair like something a child would do for fun, he reveled in these thoughts. He had spent many hours without sleep working on work that he had procrastinated on for well over a year. To normal people they would’ve expected him to be completely dead and for once they weren’t wrong. The only thing keeping Izaya awake at this point was the sheer willpower of many, many cups of coffee.

Namie had told him once that drinking too much coffee would end up killing him if he didn’t reduce how many cups he drank a day and thinking back to that conversation he had replied with a remark acting as if he was flattered that she actually cared for him to which she had promptly responded with “Go die.” 

The thought of that conversation brought forth a low chuckle from him. Ah how normal things had been back then. Saying ‘go die’ as if it would have no meaning. Not knowing that a yearl later Izaya would actually be considering the concept of death.

Preferably not anytime soon for he still had much to do but sometime in the future where he could drift off to the comforting embrace of death in peace.

How would he end up dying?

He knew for a fact that he wasn’t going to live up to an old age, but he had also decided that he wanted to die young.

There were many possibilities of how he could die.

Being fatally stabbed once again, gunshot to the head, suicide or even dying from something as boring as a coffee overdose.

If he were to die… would Shizuo die with him?

Lovers even in death sounded quite nice to him but knowing Shizuo he simply wouldn’t have that. Izaya never quite believed in the afterlife or any place that you go to when you die for that matter. Whenever he thought of death he just imagined floating in a pitch black void for all of eternity.

Though even though he didn’t believe in neither heaven nor hell, he believed that there was a special place in hell reserved for his own parents for forcing ownership of his sisters onto him. 

Izaya didn’t care much for Mairu and Kururi. They were just another annoying presence in his life but having the twins in his care at such an age was not something he enjoyed. It wasn’t a loving relationship between siblings like Shizuo and his brothers was. The relationship he had with his two sisters was mutual hatred.

As long as they stayed out of his way, he would stay out of theirs.

Though looking out for your siblings was supposedly one of the qualities of being a big brother. So he made sure that he was doing what big brothers are supposed to do by convincing Aoba to commit a crime so he would stop hovering around his sisters and leave them in peace.

He never did like the kid anyway.

He was just one less person to care about anyway.

Slowing the chair to a stop and taking a moment to allow the dizziness to stop, he stood up from his chair and stretched his arms behind his head as he walked towards the window that looked down on all of the humans below.

With a satisfying crack, his back cracked as he stretched. Though his arms were still sore if he moved them around too much, he still followed the exercises that the doctor had advised him to do every day to regain control of his limbs once again without pain.

Looking out the window at the people walking by, he watched their every move with interest. His interest with humans wasn’t necessarily what he told everyone. He didn’t love all of humanity, the more correct term for it was hatred. Humans were such strange creatures and if he was to let one of them into the crevices of his heart, his heart would break completely as it had so many times before.

Humans were vile, disgusting creatures and to be compared to the likes of them was a disgrace. He would much rather be seen as some type of god then to be compared to them. Though he commonly said that he loved all of humanity, that didn’t necessarily mean he liked specific people. His love towards humanity was delicately woven to mask the true hatred towards it that lied inside of his heart. 

Many years ago, this was one of the reasons why he had come to hate Shizuo with all of his heart. Izaya couldn’t pinpoint anything that was going on inside that man’s mind but Shizuo could easily pick apart each part of Izaya’s many fake personalities to find the real one and it infuriated him to know this.

Who was he to discern him for who he truly was when he had spent so much time creating all of those fake masks?

All of that time was all for naught.

Completely useless.

A waste of time.

Shizuo had smashed through the many barriers that Izaya had built around his heart in thick walls made of steel and with every wall that was smashed down to the ground, Izaya felt completely naked. As if all of the things that had made him who he was today had withered away into thin air. 

Withered away as if it wasn’t the most important thing that had kept him like this for so many years.

Withered away as if he was like everyone else all along.

Izaya hated Shizuo for this, but he also loved him for being able to see through every mask that he threw his way. 

He was the only one who had been able to see through this many of Izaya’s masks and had broken through the high walls of his heart. Was this what love was? Was love finally finding someone who could see you for who you truly were and accept you for it? Izaya would never know himself for he had never experienced a love like this one.

Fate be damned, he would do everything in his power to keep Shizuo from ever leaving him weak, vulnerable and a broken mess. He would rather die than be seen like this. If Shizuo was to ever leave him alone on this earth, then Izaya wouldn’t hesitate to follow him no matter what it cost the both of them.

For Orihara Izaya loved Heiwajima Shizuo and a twisted love story like this one was something worth keeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaa this chapter might seem like a filler chapter and that's because it is because I'm trying to think of something so I can continue the story. 
> 
> Oh fuck now I know what it feels like to be a dedicated writer who is constantly writing.
> 
> Rip Heather's hands. 2001 - 2016


	15. Oh? So You're Alive?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikado and Izaya meet again for the first time in a year.  
> However their chat doesn't last for long due to a silent Masaomi and Anri behind him, glaring at him.
> 
> Where will Mikado, Anri and Masaomi fall into this new plan?

The clock strikes midnight and the city skies fall into a rich, velvet blanket of black, swallowing up the day and draining the colours from grey to nothing at all. The night is still and silent as if it’s holding it’s breath. Waiting for something to break it’s tranquility and revert the city back to the lively one it normally was.

A figure stands on top of a building, peering out at the city enveloped in darkness before them. A gust of wind came from their right and their coat ruffled in the wind. Fanning out with the wind and tousling the fabric. 

The figure paid no mind to the swaying of their coat in the wind or the eerie silence that surrounded them. They simply set their gaze forward and held a cellphone up to their ear, listening to the steady ringing of the call trying to connect.

“Hello?” A voice rang out in question. They always answered with a hello despite knowing who they were.

The tranquility of the night was split apart as their voice floated along with the wind. “It’s him.” Came their blunt answer. They both knew who this person in question was.

Thought to be long dead and completely decimated off the face of the earth only to reappear a year later. How annoying. He was like a pest that would come back no matter how many times you had gotten rid of it.

He was akin to a flea. Perhaps that was why he was given the nickname. Dodging anything that came his way and easily jumping out of reach. A pest not so easily controlled was what he was.

Thought to be no longer a problem, they didn’t pay any mind to him anymore. He was the true mastermind behind everything that happened in this city. Every movement was being controlled like he was a puppeteer and everybody else were his puppets.

That was why they had detested him so much. Rumoured to be one of the most feared men in the city of Ikebukuro, he instilled fear in everybody that ever met his gaze. 

He wasn’t important.

A man that had the city of Ikebukuro under his rule. Somebody like him didn’t deserve to be considered infamous. 

Even the mafia that resided within this city wasn’t as feared as this man. So why was he still feared even though he had been missing for a year? The answer was simple. It was because the informant had affected this city so much that no amount of passing time could heal the wounds that the city had gained.

“Hm, I had a feeling he would be back.” The voice on the other end spoke. The figure stood there in silence for a few moments.

“Permission to begin the mission?” The figure asked.

“Permission granted.” The voice on the other end of the line spoke and that was all that they needed. Flipping the cell phone closed, ending the call, they looked off towards the horizon. 

The fall of the mastermind was finally set to happen in the near future.

 

Faint humming was heard throughout the streets of Ikebukuro. Izaya strolled down the sidewalks with his hood up, humming a song that he had vaguely remembered hearing on the radio at some point. It was awfully catchy and he could see why he would remember such a song as this one.

Perhaps it was because of the music blaring from the headphones of someone walking by or perhaps it was just a song that his mind uprooted.

He didn’t have a clue.

Despite being an informant who sold information for money, he found himself working for the yakuza most of the time. Being affiliated with the yakuza was dangerous and he knew this perfectly well but he didn’t mind.

He was first offered the position back when he was in high school and here he was still working for the yakuza. The job had been so perfect for Izaya that it seemed almost scary. It was like his very existence was created just so he could one day have this job.

He wasn’t complaining about it. In fact he loved his job. He loved researching the humans that he had been paid to find information on and his love of humanity clashed nicely with his job.

Though he was more prone to being killed now that he was with the yakuza. Counting on his fingers, he listed off all of the times that he had almost been killed. That one night that he was stabbed and left to bleed out on the sidewalk, almost being killed by the many things that Shizuo had thrown at him and the one time he had once again been impaled by a knife.

Many people wanted to kill him and he understood clearly as to why they would go to such lengths. He had endangered many people, given them scars both mentally and physically and he had even betrayed many of them. 

That was why he was set to die.

He had originally planned to die on that day back then but it seemed like fate had different plans for him. Maybe he wasn’t killed on that day because he was destined to die at some point in the future. 

With a shrug he brushed the thoughts off. He would rather see what fate had to offer him then try and change whatever fate had been planned for him. It was more fun that way anyway.

Looking around and taking in his surroundings he found himself a mere few steps away from the people he had seen grow far too much for any normal teenagers to grow in that many years. Ah it truly was a problem. If they were to see him and find out that he was alive then he would surely be beaten half to death. 

He knew that Anri and Masaomi had grown a deep hatred for him but he wasn’t so sure about Mikado. In the past, Mikado had often called Izaya which resulted in long lasting phone calls but change was a funny thing and perhaps Mikado’s opinion on Izaya had changed.

Ducking into an alleyway, he pressed himself against the cold wall. Frowning at how cold it was, he held his position so as not to be spotted by them. However luck was not on his side today. One glance to the side from Mikado was all it took to result in widening eyes and a shocked expression.

Shit.

Mikado stopped walking and stood there gaping at Izaya. Anri and Masaomi sensed that their friend had stopped walking with them and had turned around to see why Mikado had stopped when they too saw him.

This was just great, now he had three more people who knew he was alive.

The silence was broken when Mikado stuttered out a “I-Izaya-san! I didn’t know you were still alive!”

Izaya brought a finger to his lips to silence Mikado. “I’d prefer it if my name wasn’t said so loudly.” 

Mikado wrung his hands together nervously “Ah sorry, It’s just shocking to see you here.” 

Anri and Masaomi stood behind Mikado protectively as if Izaya would spring something unto them when they weren’t looking. The action had shown just how much Izaya’s manipulation had affected and changed them throughout the course of the past few years.

“Well it has been a year after all and it’s quite strange to see a supposedly dead man roaming the streets of Ikebukuro.” 

“I-I didn’t mean it in that way! I just meant that I didn’t expect to see you again. You know… because of what happened on that night.” The sentence had trailed off at the end, as if that night would set him off if talked about in the wrong way.

“Ah well, as you can see I’m still alive.”

“I’d prefer it if you had just stayed dead…” Masaomi muttered underneath his breath. Izaya easily heard the mutter and simply gave a stare that would make grown men shiver in fear but Masaomi wasn’t like anybody else he had ever met. Masaomi hardly flinched and just stared back at Izaya with no fear whatsoever.

Anri cleared her throat and spoke up, “Excuse me, but we have to get going now.” She looked over to Masaomi and they had a silent conversation conveyed only by looks and Masaomi nodded. 

Masaomi slung his arm through Mikado’s, “Mikado it’s time to go.” 

Mikado obviously not knowing what was going on, stared at his friend with confusion “Eh what? Oh okay.” Giving Izaya an apologetic look, he waved and said “See you later!” before leaving with his two friends.

Izaya stared at their retreating backs with pursed lips. Masaomi and Anri had seemed desperate to get their friend out of the conversation which only confirmed Izaya’s suspicions that they still didn’t forgive him for what he had done.

Personally he didn’t care in the slightest. If Masaomi and Anri didn’t like him then it didn’t matter. Humans that had once been part of his plan were now far from his reach but if he was going to go through with all of this, then he would need to gain their corroporation and the only way to achieve that was by doing one thing.

Convince Mikado to talk both Masaomi and Anri into being a part of this plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams because this fic took me like a week to write*
> 
> Honestly rip in piece like I did not have the motivation to write at all.  
> I know I shouldn't force myself to write but there's mental deadlines I created and hhhhhhhhhhh
> 
> Anyway I honestly can't believe that there's already 15 chapters of this fic.
> 
> Nice


End file.
